How long did it take you to figure out didn't know anything?

With my first born i thought I was an awesome parent who knew what was going on. It wasn't until my son started becoming more of a person that I realized I really just lucked out in the gene pool with my daughter. My daughter was more a result of personality than my ';excellent'; parenting...


When did it hit you?How long did it take you to figure out didn't know anything?
During her PICU stay. She was 11 months old and barely breathing for 39 hours, her emotional strength wow'd me. I knew that had nothing to do with me. Even coming out of it and getting better, she wasn't scarred like I was from the experience, she started playing and laughing as soon as her vitals went up. She's an amazing little person, very happy, very brave, extremely resilient, I am so lucky to have her :)How long did it take you to figure out didn't know anything?
I think it's an evolving process. With each kid, you learn new things. And it depends on the child, since each of them is different. Some things I used on my son I wouldn't for my daughter, and vice versa.





I think with every first time parent there's a bit of the 'guinea pig' stage. You find out quickly what didn't work and modify it, or apply your new knowledge and experience with the second and subsequent children. So by the time number three arrives, I should be a ';perfect'; parent! LOL I wish...
Well, with my first daughter I definitely knew I had a lot of work to do. I spoiled her and let her get away with bloody murder until she was about 4 and I realized * you know what? this cannot go on..*





With a complete change in my lifestyle, my parenting and my attitude I was able to recover the sweet intelligent little girl inside of her. It wasn't until she was about 5 that I started to realize that I actually *do* know something. lol Kinda backwards for your question. It took me a long time, though, so I am really proud of her today, at 10 years old. It's amazing the sort of progress our relationship has had.





With my youngest I know nothing. She's a great kid that doesn't require much discipline but other than that, I'm at a loss with her personality. It's like she has an old soul and I'm constantly (in the back of my mind) almost begging her to need me, at all. That girl is so comfortable and content with herself, I swear she could raise herself into an artist by living with a pack of wolves. lol
When my first child was born i thought i knew how i ';wasn't'; going to parent and how i was just going to be some awesome mother that knew how to do anything dealing with kids... i am the oldest of 5 kids and my friends all came to me for advice on kids even before i had them myself.


My beliefs and feelings about all that changed when my oldest daughter was 3 years old, i tried everything i could possibly think of to ';correct'; her from doing what she had been doing, when she was 4, she had gotten better, and i had help to show me exactly how to get her to ';calm down'; then it started all over again after she had been ';normal'; for about 6 months... then the age of 5 came and it was the most trying time for me honestly. I had to make decisions about my child that NO ONE should have to make. I'm glad i made those decisions today though, and my daughter is doing pretty good compared to other times...but i have got to say my whole out look on SEVERAL things changed...and i ';knew'; i didn't know a damn thing... though i have learned a lot!
I don't know it all, you are always learning until the day you die, but I AM confident in my gut feelings and they have proved me right more often than any parenting book has. With my first in special care I saw business women in their 30's breaking down at the drop of a hat convinced they knew nothing, I was the only one who stood up to the nurses so I could get my baby home as quick as possible while the others faffed about meekly doing what they were told.


Be confident and go with common sense and and instinct. :)
I caught on early, parenting my stepdaughter with my husband, learning from watching him %26amp; talking to him that all of my pre-parent ideas of how kids %26amp; parents should interact were only superficial %26amp; completely lacking in real thought %26amp; substance.





What's especially interesting to me is seeing my son behaving in many ways that my stepdaughter did when she was his age - behaviors that I often attributed, back then, to the way that *her mother* was parenting her wrong... :-D
Oh I think and still do that I have a lot of good ';knowledge'; about being a good parent - but it's the APPYING it in the real world to each child that makes you realize that you may KNOW A LOT but the RULES NO LONGER APPLY!!!!! LOL





Practical skills %26amp; experience gained through the adversity and fires of actually PARENTING is what matters and brings about learning and skill and humble acceptance that you truly don't know everything, for sure!
I always thought and still think I am doing a great job with my daughter. But I will admit, there are some things that definitely need improving. I have made my mistakes.





Its hit me... ';Next time around I will do some things differently';. My daughter is 10 weeks and I have already ';learned my lessons';....I'll share:





Bed-sharing, not a good idea: I am now having the HARDEST time breaking the habit. She won't sleep ANYWHERE else but next to me. Wakes up the minute I put her down elsewhere.





Holding her every second: Now I can barely put her down for a second without her screaming.





Using a less then effective breast pump: It didn't really do a great job... and I think thats the main reason why I dried up. Next time, we are going to work harder on latching on and breast feeding NO MATTER what... because now its a constant battle finding the ';perfect formula';.





I have learned my lessons... next time around... I will do better!!! But for now, I am working on fixing my mistakes. I may not be the ';perfect mom';, but I always had the best intentions... they just went wrong :-(
I have to say I am totally with you! My daughter will be 7 in a few weeks and was and still is so easy going and was such an easy baby...





MY son he will be 3 in May and is on a totally different level LOL I don't know if its a ';boy thing'; or what. He is VERY active and into everything...he managed to get into the dawn soap today and liked it! we have locks on everything even the fridge! I never locked anything with my daughter!





I love him to death..but boy oh boy...there are plenty of days I wish he came with a manual LOL
i know exactly what you're talking about. i lucked out with three kids in a row and it took the fourth to make me realize ';my'; earlier ';parenting'; success had actually been their own personal success.





reading that over, i should add that of course i lucked out with my fourth child, too, and i love him infinitely. but he does do a good job at instilling a little humility in me about my parenting.
As soon as i got home from the hospital with my eldest and i think i'm still 'winging it' a bit...And he's 12!!!





I feel more confident with each child and comfortable enough to give other people advice if they ask but a lot of the time I doubt myself.





All 3 of my sons are so different in personality that everything feels new all the time (if that makes sense...)
I think it was this year and my youngest is turning 6 tomorrow. Maybe I should have another kid now that I know what I did wrong the first 4 times. lol Still learning though, so I'll quit while I'm ahead. Isn't it amazing how wonderfully kids grow up even though we don't know what we think we know.
Um I think I just realized it after reading this, thanks a lot!





I thought I was a good mom up until now, now that I think about it, I think I just got lucky with a good kid.





Now I am even more nervous for the next one...
About 24 hours.


When I brought him home from the hospital, and I put him in his bed at ';bedtime'; and he didn't go to sleep, I knew then that we were in for a long haul:-)
Never! I know it all!!! And I will tell anyone who will listen or holler in your ear if you don't want to listen. Lol. I have my fair share of over confidence.


Ahh, come on now thumbs downer, I'm just playin.
Thanks guys, I think I'll stop with 2 children after all now. : )
Well it's different for me, I am a first time mom but I am 20 and have a 7 year old brother, who I took a huge role in raising.


He listens to me as if I am on the same level as my dad and step mom except I am sterner than my step mom with him.


He is a VERY smart and mature boy!


I mean VERY! And when he was a baby and even a toddler he was beyond the easiest child I have ever taken care of, and it wasnt just a babysitting thing, I cared for him daily as my dad works 3rd shift, so he needs to sleep,step mom worked 1st, then 2nd.


My little brother will strive to be the best child he can be and does everything will skill and perfection and tries to please everyone.


He is just so easy lol





Sooo I of course thought I had this child raising thing all figured out..


HA! Until I had my son, Brody. WHo wants what he wants when he wants it, no questions! He isnt easygoing like my brother was, he ALWAYS has to be moving! He is so curious and independant!


He is so active!!!


I definitely learned *I* had nothing to do with my little brother being such a well behaved person. He is just that.


Brody is more of a free spirit that is beyond curious and will let nothing and no one get in his way!


That's why he is learning to run at just about 10 1/2 months.


Because he wont stop!!!


I ask my dad all the time why my little brother wasn't this much work Lol


He does agree that Brody is a handful, and extremly active.


He is a father of 4 lol so coming from him..